Classes 3 & 4

Agh!! I meant to blog before now, but last week I was a little busy with the arrival of my niece☺ Okay, so to update on my previous 2 classes…week 3 was about losses and gains. We discussed developmental stages throughout life and what a person looses and gains in the process. We talked about how a child who is removed from their home deals with this great loss and the grieving process that ensues: shock & denial, anger, depression/despair, & finally acceptance/understanding. Some key points I jotted down during this class:
*Biggest fear the child has coming in is another loss…they will test us to see if we’ll stick around.
*May have a “honeymoon period” where everything is going great with a child and then 2 to 4 weeks in their behaviors get worse.
*I need to become a Loss Expert…which means identifying grieving behaviors and finding out the underlying problem (ex: They get sad around their birthday, etc)


Week 4 was about Attachment~the affectionate and emotional tie between people that continues indefinitely over time and lasts even when people are geographically apart. Key things I took away from this meeting include:
*I need to be honest with the child about their case plan…say “I am your family for now” vs. “Forever Family”.
* I am not to discourage them from calling me “momma” if that’s the title they so choose.
*It’s a good thing for them to learn to attach to people…even if it’s for a brief time.
* A child needs consistency & predictability…when they express a need try to meet it physically and emotionally…they not only need food, but need to be talked to, held, loved in order to grow☺
*I will get exhausted pouring everything I can into this child…especially because most of it will not be retained at the beginning, and I may feel like I am not succeeding or helping them☹ Therefore, I will need help from family, friends, church, other foster families, social worker, etc. in order to re-fill our cups, recharge our batteries, and keep us going...thank goodness I have a GREAT support system!
* I should begin a Lifebook for the foster child that includes school work, drawings, pictures, birthday cards, etc. because a lot of them experience “memory gaps.”

We also did an exercise in which we closed our eyes and pretended that we were being removed from our home. It was very emotional! I just can’t stop thinking that no matter what has happened to a child, inevitably they are being removed from all they’ve ever known, and usually without any warning. Such an extremely difficult thing as an adult to imagine, much less to actually happen to a child!

And I am actually leaning towards starting out in respite care at first. I was feeling guilty about not just taking on a child full-time as soon as I could get one. I’m not doubting my decision to do foster care in any way, however, I think it might honestly benefit the child that I do eventually get for a semi-permanent time if I have some experience caring for them under my belt. I'm usually an all or nothing type of gal, but baby-stepping into this would not be the worst thing in the world! My heart could change, but right now it’s what I’m thinking☺

Class #2

We did a lot of role-playing for last nights class! Almost everyone had a role, and I was a 2-year-old little girl:) It was really interesting to see an actual situation played out, and how this can really impact a child. I didn't have much of a part since I couldn't really talk (hence why I picked the 2-year-old), but it really made you think about how everyone involved is effected from the biological parents, to the social worker, to the foster parents, but mainly the child or children. The 6-year-old in the scenario was abused, and taken into foster care. Even though the foster family was nice, she still wanted to be with her family no matter what they'd done to her. They say this is always the case. I am really trying to put myself in the child's shoes and see how I would feel if I was placed in a stranger's home. The person leading the class kept saying "It's by the grace of God that more of us haven't been in this situation ourselves." It's so hard to even try and imagine...

On a side note, one of the women who lead our class told me that her first dog was named Miranda (random) and every dog she's had after that had Miranda in the name somewhere...I know.

First Class

Last night I attended my first GPS training class. GPS stands for Group Preparation & Selection. The main goal of this class is to prepare folks to make an informed decision about becoming foster or adoptive parents. The people who are training my group are from the Alabama Baptist Children's Homes. They basically went over the rights of foster children, foster parents, & biological parents. We are to go ahead and be thinking of our strengths (what we can offer a child) and have homework to turn in on this for the next class:) We compiled a list of feelings and behaviors a child might have when entering foster care based on different backgrounds. We did some role-playing (and this is something that we will continue to do in these trainings) in order to work on our communication skills. Current foster parents say that the most critical skill for success with these children is listening. I know I always try to "fix the problem" too fast, so this exercise taught me the importance of being quiet:)

I was happy to have another single woman in the class who sat next to me. She is considering respite care (which basically means you can relieve foster families by taking a child for a weekend or helping out for a day or week in emergency situations). I guess this is something I may consider to do at first, but we'll see...I didn't feel too overwhelmed when leaving last night:)

Most of you are aware, but I need to let those near and dear to me know what the Lord's been teaching me, showing me, and telling me to do (in a little more detail). . .1 because I need accountability and 2 because I hope to encourage others:) For me, I am most encouraged and challenged in my faith when I see God's people bearing fruit in such a way that inspires me to do the same. Not out of guilt, but out of pure desire to become more intimate with the Maker of Heaven and Earth in order to make His glory known throughout the world.

My thought process on what I must do to reach the lost and the poor has been greatly challenged as of late, mainly through the teaching of my pastor, David Platt. We have been studying the book of James and I have been really inspired to be more of a "doer of the Word, and not just a hearer only." Without getting too wordy (HA), David has challenged our church to help out in any way we can for those in need...especially the children (or orphans as it talks about in James). I attended an informational meeting at church in which numerous agencies, including DHR and other adoption associations, met with those interested in fostering or adopting. I truly feel fostering a child is something the Lord is leading me to do. YES...it will be hard. And YES...I will have to make some MAJOR changes in my life! But, I have really been thinking this through, and the reasons that I shouldn't do it just sound selfish in light of what I feel God's Word is speaking to me. I am able to set parameters as far as what I am willing to accept. My ideal scenario would be to get matched with a 5-8 year old child, or I have even been considering a pregnant teenager. I begin what's called GPS classes this Wednesday night. This is an informational/training class that I will take for 10 weeks. The main goal in foster world is for the child to be placed back in their biological home if at all possible. That will probably be the hardest thing for me to deal with in this whole process. But, if I can show Jesus to a child (who is in great need of Him) by bringing them into my home and my life for a day, week, or even months when I can, then it will be all worth it! I just can't not do this because I know it's gonna be hard if this is truly something I feel He is leading me to do...

With that said, check out the blog of this girl who basically goes around Uganda meeting the needs of orphans and whom I believe houses around 12...AMAZING. I haven't read her whole story, but I cry every time I read something she posts. SO cool to see what this 20-something, single gal is doing with numerous children under who knows what kind of conditions on a daily basis in a war-torn country. This sister in Christ has really encouraged and inspired me, and I have no clue who she is! http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/


Here are some scriptures that I have been praying through...some since this summer:)

"For my determined purpose is that I may know Him, that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."
~Philippians 3:10 Amplified Version

10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

~Isaiah 58:10-11 NIV

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." ~Galatians 2:20 ESV

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." ~James 1:27 NIV

"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." ~James 2:14-19 NIV

"But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:13 NIV

I hope you saw as you read (and processed this) that Christ is at the center of every decision I am making. My aim is to please Him only no matter the earthly cost. I know my faith will only be strengthened in the days to come as I continue to rely on Him. My prayer is that He can be glorified through me as I strive to be obedient to Him. Please make that your prayer for me too:)